By The BIG Girls “Code” I mean two things:
- a) A system of rules or principles and also
- b) A secret meaning.
I believe that in my blog posts I am not only posting pictures and talking about fashion, I am also writing, bit by bit, about my personal code or philosophy. In my writings I am sharing rules and principles that I live by and have lived by for quite some time in order to practice self-love. Practicing self-love was like a foreign tongue to me because for most of my life I actively practiced self-hate. Self-hate seemed to be my second nature. When I started to change my way of thinking and decided to embrace myself, I began making mental lists of things I would no longer do to hurt my body, hide my body, and apologize for my body. Through meaningful conversations my philosophy sprouted legs, arms, and grew flesh. My family, friends, and mentors urged me to write and share my experiences. The pathway towards loving myself has been a continual process, full of backsliding, and learning experiences. I try to hold myself accountable to eight principles that help promote my spiritual, physical, and mental health. I draw confidence and strength from practicing this BIG Girls “Code of Conduct”. However, this is my way of being and I don’t prescribe this “code” to other women. It is a woman’s choice to decide what her code will be and how she will practice self-love in public and in private.
As a large woman I am embracing a body that does not fit into the mainstream view of “beauty”. Representations of large woman are invisible. They are missing in mainstream media. Our voices, our faces, and our bodies, are missing from dominant discourse. The message is if you are fat, you are ugly, lazy, and you will die. I am sharing a “secret” with women that has been suppressed for too long by sharing my body and my words. I am whispering in your ear that you can love your body just as you are. It’s possible to embrace every dimple, stretch mark, and roll. Maybe not every day, but most days. It is a continual process, a learning process, but we can help each other along this journey. Juntas lo lograremos. I am hoping this secret, this message of body positivity, will be shared from one woman to another. Over time it will be spread far and wide and it won’t be a secret anymore, it will be the new normal, as we each contest the way that dominate society represses our individual and unique expressions of beauty. For now, I am enjoying having a secret to share because it feels sexy and mysterious. Like a pregnant woman who glows from keeping her secret, I glow with my secret knowing one day, not far from now, it will bloom and be born into this world.
Below is what I have pledged to myself and how I have chosen to practice self-love in public and in private. It’s my creative way of making the beauty of my interior evident in my exterior. It’s also a reaction against mainstream society that would have me branded as lazy and dumb.
The BIG Girls Code: A Guide to Living LARGE and FABULOUS!
- I pledge never to leave my home without my hair back combed BIG and high with PRIDE.
- I pledge never to leave my home without my makeup done, ENHANCING all my natural beauty.
- I pledge always to wear clothes that fit tight, accentuating, and showing off all my CURVES. Not hiding my body behind over-sized clothes (pajamas and sweat pants are out of the question).
- I pledge to have fun with what I wear: wearing bright colors, polka dots, stripes and things that sparkle, showing off my inner LIGHT.
- I pledge never to wear a bag that is smaller than one half of my butt cheeks (this may sound silly, but having an itty bitty bag that hides under your armpit is not for me). I like extravagance and a bag that sends a message. BIGGER IS BETTER!
- I pledge to work hard and give each task my one hundred percent, even taking on greater challenges to STANDOUT and SHINE.
- I pledge to practice self-love by making an effort to pamper myself when I feel good, when I feel blue, or when I feel stressed (i.e. mani’s, pedi’s, face masks).
- I pledge to try my best to be conscious of keeping my good health in two important areas: a) by putting more natural things in and on my body, feeling guilt-free when I slip up, and taking immense pleasure in eating; b) by practicing more of the physical activities I enjoy (i.e. dancing and jiggling my bits, making out, and having SEX).
– La Chica Mas Fina